Walk Monica, Walk

I watched Forrest Gump on a layover recently. I watched it as though I haven't seen it a kajillion times-- bawling when Jenny threw rocks at her childhood house and cheering when Lieutenant Dan walked into Forrest's wedding with prosthetic legs. After the movie ended I YouTubed Tom Hanks' acceptance speech for his much deserved Oscar (worth watching if you haven't) and cried hysterically. Something stirred in me that day, a feeling that has taken form and is ready to fly.

Running is a central theme to the movie, seen first when Forrest breaks free from his leg braces and runs to escape ridicule and harm. Jenny is his cheerleader; she urges him to Run Forrest, Run. Later in the film, Jenny is gone. Forrest is rocking in his rocking chair on his sprawling plantation porch, wordless and unblinking, staring miles ahead.  There is no monologue set to this scene, no narration or commentary. Forrest's expression says it all: his eyes have seen the breadth of loss; his heart has learned the depth of grief.  If there were words, they might be to the tune of "What. The. Hell." Or "Enough is Enough." Forrest stands up wearing his shiny new Nikes and starts running.  For three and a half years, he doesn't stop.

Ok, so I am not a runner. (And, please, Runners, don't write me and tell me that I could become a runner.) It hurts my knees and makes my face turn beat red and causes things to jiggle that have no business jiggling. And that's just after the first quarter mile. (Has anyone seen the Friends episode of Phoebe running? Yeah.) Still, I have this desire to move. I want to break free from my own shackles and fly.  Enough already.

Forrest's Mama said, "you got to put the past behind you before you can move on." This implies if not demands forward momentum. I am blessed with an army of friends and family who are nudging me along, cheering from the sidelines. I still haven't determined if I am running from or toward something, or if it really even matters.  I just know that it is high time I put one foot in front of the other. It is time to get going.